Dear Doc AfroMytee,

--No Motion in my Ocean

Sister Ocean,

Your situation is not an uncommon one. Just as men's sex organs come in various shapes and sizes -- so do women's. One of the main differences is that women can effect their size. Have a wee bit of compassion for the guy (tee hee). You are the one who is going to need the "trick" here.

In the classic text The Art of War [War, Love, Sex -- same thing!], Sun Tzu says:

"Water shapes its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flows; the soldier works out his victory in relation to the foe whom he is facing. So in warfare there are no constant conditions."

Evolution=Survival. If your partner is smaller -- get TIGHTER!

He who can modify his tactics in relation to his opponent and thereby succeed in winning, may be called a heaven-born captain.

By taking responsibility for your own pleasure, you are setting a healthy example for your lover. He will undoubtedly appreciate the change in your attitude and WORSHIP your "new and improved" Yoni.

I have a friend who had a similar situation. She actually consulted me about having vaginal tightening surgery (Ouch!). She tried this technique instead of surgery. Now, she can damn near smoke a cigarette with her Yoni!

Here's the "trick" to unlock your "Goddess Grip"!:

The kegel exercise is an overly simplified Western version of the ancient Eastern Yoni techniques. You didn't think that Dr. Kegel guy actually thought that exercise up all by himself, didja? In antiquity, there are entire ethnic groups of women (Africa, India, China, etc.) that were infamous for pleasing themselves and their lover (or lovers -- heh, heh) after being schooled on the "Grip" techniques. There is much more to being a full blown Goddesss D'Amour then just clenching your Yoni muscles while sitting at your desk or on the commute to the office.

There is not just one muscle to clench but actually several rows (imagine rings) of muscles lining the inside of your wonderful Yoni. With practice, you can  manipulate them individually,  in tandem or in sequence -- even from side to side! The practice is best done with a smooth stone shaped like a small egg. The idea is not to just squeeze (any regular girl can do that!) but to give a massage that you can control. With this technique, you can even massage only the head of your lover's lingam (penis) until he is almost ready to ejaculate and then release and message only the lower section and base only. Oooo la la!

Keep practicing anytime, anywhere -- no one will ever know. Hey, you didn't know that I was practicing the whole time that I was writing this. Now didja?

Paz y Amor,
Dr. AfroMytee

P.S. Just one more thing: as you learn these eggs-ercises (teehee) do your lover a favor and keep the number for 911 handy. Your new "Goddess Grip" might just be too much for those who have have never been treated to a divine Yoni like yours! Trust me on that! ;)

• Healing Love Through the Tao:Cultivating Female Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia and Maneewan Chia (contains a wonderful layout of the entire eggs-ercise including correct breathing technique)
• The Tao of Sexology by Steven Chang

--Seeking the Oasis in the Sahara

Dear S.O.S. (nice acronym, by the way):

To please their partners some women will put up with painful intercourse (and the "feels like hot molten lava" pee afterward). Once again, I urge all you goddesses out there to tell the truth! See, here's a guy who doesn't like to "feel the burn" either. No poor soul should have their stuff shredded like cheese on a grater for the sake of a little "freaky-deaky."

Here are some common causes of yoni dryness: