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The Adventures of Johnny Blade, Tattoo Detective.
The Case of the Voluptuous Vampire
There comes a time in everyone’s life when they question their own beliefs. A crossroads if you will, where reality and fantasy shake hands in the night before turning their backs forever and disappearing in the murky darkness of a starless sky. It is that one step beyond the last rung on the ladder which forces us to leave behind our moral judgements and embrace the superstitions of what we were taught to believe as children lurked in the shadows.
Tonight, I stand at my crossroads, uncertain of my future, unsteady and questioning my own sanity. It is my turn, like it or not, to walk down that lonely, dark and desolate highway to my destiny at the crossroads. My only comfort rests in the fact that I am not the first to confess this ritualistic rite of passage is not a day at the park but instead the devils own personal playground. I have a free ticket to ride the merry-go-round and it is spinning helplessly out of control...
"Freeze! Put your hands in the air where I can see them," he shouted. I slowly turned and lifted my bruised and bleeding hands above my head.
"Don’t even breathe or it will be the last breath you ever take, understand me Blade?" he asked forcibly. I stared into the barrel of his 38 blue steel cocked revolver as the blood trickled down my forehead and the image of what had just happened raced through my mind like the clouds on a winter’s day.
"Looks like you bought yourself a one way ticket on the upstate express this time," he snarled while tightening the cuffs even tighter around my wrists. Officer Bond and I went way back and I knew this was a dream come true for him.
"What is the charge Officer?" I asked sarcastically.
"Charge? The charge is murder in the first!" he smiled.
"Murder!" I said shaking the blood from my hair. And where is the corpus delicti?" I inquired sternly.
"The stiff is right over..." he stammered pointing at the barren ground.
"Where?" I asked looking around while my legs trembled from fatigue.
"But...I saw you, I watched you with my own eyes stab a woman to death with that stake right there!" he shouted aloud.
"Well, it looks like you have a problem, I would suggest you…"
"No! You have the problem Blade. How do you explain all this blood all over you?" he hissed.
"I drink, I fall down, no problem at all Officer Bond," I answered coyly while trying to keep my composure. Just as Bond was drawing back his fist...
"What the hell?" a voice barked from the shadows. "Release that man, now!"
Every cop walking the beat was on the take from Slippery Sal and Bond was no different. I took a long deep breath of relief.
"But I have him dead to rights boss, I just can’t let him..."
"The only thing dead to rights is the fact you will be sleeping with the fishes if you don’t lose those cuffs right now...now!" he demanded.
"Yes Sir, right away boss," he spoke anxiously. Bond fumbled for the keys to the cuffs dropping them twice before releasing me. MD, D’Pepper and The Mose stood behind Slippery and the sure money was on the bet that there were more than ink pens inside those raincoats. Bond was wound tighter than Dick’s hatband.
"Coppers!" I smirked.
"Are you ok Johnny Blade?" MD asked while wiping the blood from my eyes.
"Everything’s swell," I grunted with a crooked smile before shrugging her off. The Mose and D’Pepper helped me to my caddy while I gave Slippery the lowdown.
"Have you satisfied your obligations in full Mr. Blade," Slippery asked with nervous authority.
"Almost...there is just one more loose end, one more knot to tie," I answered.
"Then I take it you have everything under control?" he asked.
"Yeah...yeah, sure, everything is under control," I said. I just didn’t know who was in control and that was the problem. I slipped inside and slid over the leather while easing the seat back and watched them all disappear in my rear view mirror as Sing, Sing, Sing blasted on my radio.
By the time I reached my office it was almost daybreak. I flopped down into my chair and reached for the Johnny Walker in my top drawer while slipping my Lucky Strikes from my coat pocket.
"Kinda early for that isn’t it Johnny?" Batalie stepped from the shadows.
"Well its been a long night toots but you know all about that, don’t you?" I asked harshly.
"I know a lot of things Johnny Blade, especially about men," she replied with a wicked grin. Batalie never was your run of the mill lady by any means.
She always had a very pale, almost anemic complexion that glowed like the full moon wrapped inside her streaming coal black waist length hair. Full, bright red and purple lips were her Trademark and her dark painted sensuous eyes melted even the coldest of cold hearts. Not to mention she had a figure with numbers Einstein would have died for and a stroll that sliced and diced. She was a sight to see. Rumor had it that she had a small bat tattooed at the base of her spine, henceforth Batalie.
A woman with impeccable tastes and preferences, she listened to Bach, read Erle Stanley Gardner, wore only the finest full length black silk dresses and preferred the darker social gathering nightclubs in town where liqueur and leather are the call of the wild. I knew she danced to a different beat but until tonight, I didn’t know how far she walked on the wild side. She gave dressed to kill a literal meaning and she was toppin’ the nines’ tonight. She was the loose end I had to tie up but she had me in knots, and she knew it. I was in trouble.
"Light?" she asked. Slipping my cigarette from my fingers she rolled the filter across her tongue before lighting it. Then with a smile she leaned over my desk and eased the smoke between my lips allowing her V-neck to leave nothing to my imagination. I leaned back in my chair, took a long draw, exhaled and complimented her on her choice of lace. She smiled, sat up on the edge of my desk, crossed her legs and stared towards the window.
"It’s almost dawn," I said before tossing back a shot.
"Don’t get cute with me Johnny Blade, let’s cut to the chase before I change my mind about you," she hissed. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blew a smoke ring that made her duck.
"I have them all you know?" she giggled. I looked at her in puzzlement waiting on the chance to make my move. "Every last one of them and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. How does it feel Johnny Blade to be as helpless as a pup?" she joked. I slammed down my shot glass, stood up and flipped my Lucky Strike across the room.
"That does it! You wanna dance sister, you got it?" I shouted.
"I think you should look out the window before you try something you will regret. Go on, before it’s too late and you miss the show," she grinned, leaned back and twirled her hair around her fingers. I clinched my fist and slowly eased over to the widow while keeping my eyes on her and peeked through the blinds. What I saw had me as speechlessness as a choirboy at confession.
"Cat got your tongue?" she asked laughingly.
There was every big boss in the city hurdled together and surrounded by her decadent horde of possessed servants. I couldn’t make all the faces but I could ID Louie "The Tech" Short, Charlie "The Word Man" Albright, "MD" Duffy, Rick "The Rock" McElroy, D’Pepper, "Big" Bob Long, "Numbers" Cotton, The Mose and Slippery himself.
"Now, I have another surprise for you Johnny Blade. In a few minutes I will reign as the boss of bosses so, I have arranged a little feast to celebrate and you’re...well, shall we say...you have the honor of being the main course," she said commandingly. Batalie’s eyes were blazing red as she turned, fangs glistening, and began seductively creeping slowly my way. I backed up against the wall.
"Now!" I screamed. Immediately Dian Brookes and my secretary, Samantha, burst through the door.
"Batalie, Vampire Queen of the Clan Brujah!" Dian shouted.
"Ah, the slayer I presume!" Batalie growled. " Now that everyone is hear, let the celebration begin," she said with an evil grin.
"Not so fast vampire!" Dian ordered.
"Silence slayer!" Batalie screamed as her eyes burned into mine. "You have underestimated me Johnny, shame on you," she laughed loudly. Samantha quietly slipped her hand into her purse and with one quick swing struck Dain from behind, knocking her unconscious with the slapjack I kept hidden in my desk drawer. Then, in a trance like walk, stepped over and stood behind Batalie expressionless.
"Sa...Samantha," I mumbled.
"I am Brujah!" Batalie proclaimed aloud. "Samantha has served me for some time now and tonight while you thought she was planning my demise with the slayer, I was preparing her to be brought across to my world. I watched in awe as teardrops of blood trickled down Samantha’s cheeks.
"You never had a chance Johnny Blade and your pitiful little undertaking was doomed to fail from the beginning. Now, as it was written, I have won! I have the bosses, the slayer and now we will both have you! You will be the life that seals Samantha’s fate forever!" I tried to move but some unseen force held me helpless.
Batalie inched closer and stroked my face with her black nails before purring gently as she plunged her fangs deep into my throat. The pain was beyond agonizing but I had to remain conscious. Yeah, now I had her right where I wanted her, confident and gloating in herself. There was still one more card to lay on the table before this last hand was over and I had just trumped the Ace.
Batalie raised back, her eyes flaming with my blood oozing over her lips and motioned for Samantha to come forth. It was that single instant that Batalie realized something was awry. Clinching her throat with childlike fear while choking uncontrollably, she stumbled into the corner and collapsed shaking in a violent and animalistic fury.
"What’s a matter Batalie, cat got your tongue?" I asked contemptuously.
"What...what have you done...to me," she whispered hoarsely.
"Just took a little precaution prescription, that’s all." The blood seeped from my throat as I lit a Lucky Strike and inhaled deeply. "I mixed a little water with my Johnny Walker earlier," I said as I held up my glass. "Guess you’re not a scotch and water drinker? Especially when it’s Holy Water! Well, here’s spit in your eye," I said turning up the glass before slamming it upside down on my desk.
Batalie, coughing and mumbling too herself, clawed her way up to the window and leaped through the opening as a red mist blew against the panes with all the fury of a gale force wind. Samantha immediately fainted as the second force blew out the office windows spearing shards of glass into the old building’s walls. I slowly picked myself up off the floor and made my way to the widow.
The destruction caused by Batalie’s demise was overwhelming. My office building and the street below lay in shambles. I could see the bosses were moving about and unharmed for the most part except for a few bumps and bruises, and the thugs that had held them captive appeared to be dazed and confused, but free of Batalie’s spell of influence. The slayer, Dian, caught my attention as she slowly eased up onto the couch holding the back of her head. Samantha staggered up behind me and wrapped her arm around my waist resting her face on my shoulder.
"It’s OK now toots, it’s all over now, " I said with a sigh of relief.
"Oh Johnny...You’re bleeding baby, let me help with that," she whispered softly as she yanked back a handful of my hair and buried her fags deep in my throat...
"Johnny, wake up, wake up a client is here," Samantha said. I jumped up from my chair in a half-dazed state of puzzlement.
"That must have been some dream you were having, you talk in your sleep you know," she giggled.
"Dream, yeah, I was dreaming," I said laughing to myself. That was no dream but one nightmare I would never have to worry about coming true. I lit a Lucky Strike and poured a stiff one.
"You really should stay away from cold pasta and that booze doesn’t help a bit you know," she said in a concerned tone.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I grumbled. "What time is it?"
"Midnight," Samantha hissed."
"So, who is the client," I asked.
"A real weird one if you ask me but I’m sure she is right down your alley," she huffed.
"And why is that," I snarled back.
"Well, she looks like one of those...well...skirts" you hang out with at Showdowns," she replied.
"Gotta name?" I asked as I blew smoke rings at the ceiling fan.
"Sure," she said rolling her eyes. "Says her name is Batalie."
Stay tuned for The Adventures of Johnny Blade, Tattoo Detective in Y2K.
To be continued...
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